I marveled at the crowd that was forming and continued to feed from the second loaf. All the while, the “ground forces” were encroaching on my space as they attempted to get fed. Well, if the ducks were the troops, the geese were the generals. Out of no where, a handful of geese began to approach me. Unlike the ducks that showed just a little reservation, the Geese came full charge. I suppose it was their three foot stature that caused the ducks to break ranks and let the geese pass right by. Throwing the last of the second loaf, I realized that I had one loaf left and many more beaks to feed. Following the lead of the geese, the ducks got closer and closer. I wouldn’t say I was afraid, but I was surprised when the geese and ducks started nipping at my toes. Note: don’t were sandals when feeding birds.

I decided that a strategic retreat was in order so I began to back my way towards my car while I opened and distributed the third loaf. Fortunately my car was not far away so I was able to face my assailants as I moved. For some reason, I believe the phrase “getting goosed” probably has a very literal origin. As I made my way to the car, the flock began to encircle me. For a moment, I could relate to General Custard; fortunately, I had my back to the car before I was surrounded.I tried throwing the last pieces past the birds immediately in front of me but that did not draw them away. The geese, directly in front of me were still nipping at my toes and knee caps. There was one time when one of the generals had the audacity to yank a piece from my hand. I remember wondering what I was going to do as the heal of the loaf left my hand.

Not wanting to get physical and start a kung fu feather fight, I thought, “What would MacGyver do?” In a moment of inspiration, I reached into my pocket and retrieved the plastic bag from the first loaf. I quickly blew it up while being pecked at and then implemented my last defensive measure. With one solid strike, a thunderous pop resonated through the air. Since shell shock doesn’t fit, I will have to say that I caused a feathered frenzy. My assailants quickly retreated just far and long enough to let me get into the safety of my car. I drove off, laughing at what had just happened.

Well, despite what you may think, I have since returned and fed the ducks, geese, and other birds. I have learned how to do so without causing such a direct assault. I also bare no hard feelings for the fighting flock that taught me the power of a motivated mob. I guess that I do feel just a little guilty about one thing. The last time I went to a Chinese restaurant, I really considered ordering the Roasted Duck.