I recently found a journal from when I was 12. The writings inside borderline on retarded, and I’m pretty sure by 12 I shouldn’t have been this stupid. Anyway, when I was 13 I realized I was really stupid, and demanded the journal be burned. Instead it was stuffed in a desk draw only to be found 6 years later, by a slightly less stupid 19 year old me. Here’s a particularly interesting story contained within. Keep in mind that all the characters are animals I had at the time. Even BJ (it stood for Black Jack, relax) I will also keep all the spelling and gramatical errors intact, for your viewing pleasure. These were written over the course of a school year, in crude cursive.

The Adventures of BJ San

This is the story of martial arts master BJ san. I know you are thinking thinking this is just another kung-fu movie but here’s the twist BJ san is a dog a small dog. This is the story to tell here tale this is BJ San!!!

One day BJ San was resting in her California home when suddenly 12 armed cats storm in and take her hostage.

When the cats bring her back to there Catlair BJ San heard a familar purr. “Ahh Riker I should have known it was you, no one hates me more than you,” said BJ San.

“Silence!” replied Riker in a deep roar. “You shall be moved immeddiatly”

That’s when Riker’s three main cats, Sweetums, Tigger, and Betty went down to get BJ San

The three cats had BJ San captive BJ San broke away but ahead she faced 100’s of cats so she stayed put, in her jail cell she thought even if she did escape she would face all those cats. A voice interrupted her contimplation it said “dinner” and a bowl slid beneath the door. Slop it smelled like rotting wet socks “Jeez they treat me like a dog.”

BJ San was in her jail cell when she heard a voice it said “BJ San its me all of use are here to rescue you.”

“Daphne is that you?”

“Ya”

“You know there are hundreds of cats out there don’t you?”

“Hundreds?”

“Ya Hundreds”

“It’s okay we have a secret weapon,” said Daphne.

“What is it?”

“Radio controlled mice.”

“That’s hitting below the belt.” (figuratively speaking of course)

“How do we get you out?” asked Daphne

“Oh, I have the key.”