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..been sitting around this computer like a tree hugger…listening to Radioio 80’s…sounds like a lazy day at the beach 24/7…that and Germany. There are so many German 80’s sounds pumping out of here and it is not the A side of Falco at all. There are really good German punk bands and dancey techno pop stuff. Oh and there is the every now and again Falco, but not “Rock Me…”, you know that song. I feel so trapped. It so is the 80’s again for me, but now I have a computer. Dad and mom screaming at me for the sake of them just being cruel. Dad grabbing my arm and jerking me around about to beat the crap out of me, just like Jr. High and High School. I’ll take it as long as they don’t do anything to my boy. It is so hard to be ill the way I am, no insurance, unable to hold a real job because I get sick all the time, etc… It is a good thing that they are going to be building a house out in another country. But, until they actually leave I just have to grin and bear it. I am selling just about everything of mine that I can get my hands on. My life is up for auction on ebay. I just don’t need anymore of this crap. They want me to leave my son with them and they could care less about what happens to me. Mom never wanted to have kids to begin with, then she got pregnant with me and blames me everyday for the way her life turned out. Even before I came out of her I was already marked as the black sheep. I just have to make the best of it. I always try to do that anyway. I have no place to go. If this is it, I can manage. I do not leave my son alone with them. I do not fear them hurting him or anything, as this is the child that they want to make up all the bad things they put their kids through type of thing. Dad was going to adopt a little boy a few years ago so they could have someone to spoil proper. I mean they got mad at me for telling my son that he needed to talk to me something goes wrong. I want my son to have an open line of communication with me. They told me that he didn’t have to tell me anything. “Why does he need to tell you anything, he is only seven…” What the crap are they thinking. I mean I know that is how I had it growing up. We did not talk to them about anything and in turn they did not talk to us. They did not know how to parent. I want my child to talk to me. And he and I have a great relationship as far as that. They want to over spoil him, have him act like a child forever. Yeah if I left him with them and bolted and we had a basement, he would be one of those forty year old Sci-Fi dudes having grandma bring him cookies and stuff. NOT HAPPENING!!! I am glad we do not have a basement! I mean they are twisted, like why was she keeping all of his toys, clothes, and shoes from the time he was born? Let it go lady… I remember when we were little she kept every bit of school work that we ever came home with. Yeah even in Kindergarten I thought that was a bit nuts! I would get rid of as much as I could and every time they would go out or on vacation, I was calling the thrift store. I had to make sure that she did not catch me as she would drag the bags and boxes back in and go through them keeping a large part of what was in it. Crazy stuff! Enough for rambling. Happy Valentines Day folks! I will be cleaning the house and posting on eBay and wondering where I will be eating and when because they only have food enough for themselves. They didn’t buy for us. I didn’t expect them to, so… I have got to call the church. Now go up to someone today and tell them something nice because we all could use words of care…everyday.