“I’m a little concerned about the tents not being far up enough,” he said.  

“Great,” I said jokingly, not even trying to conceal my mouthful of ketchup-soaked chunks of lips and anuses.  “Just like that one time.”  I was referring to the time he and I were camping out there, on the Kvichak River, on a caribou hunting trip and we woke up in the middle of the night with the water flooding our tent.  We had to get out and move our tent up on the beach. 

If his calculations were correct, the same would happen at about four in the morning this night eleven years later.  This time there would be no place to move the tents, since they were up on the beach as far as possible.  We would all have to share the floor of the boat we barely fit in when sitting up.  He set his alarm for three o’clock just to be sure. 

After brushing our teeth, Taylor, Luke, Erica, Chrissy, Erica and I were stuffed into our tent like a pack of six hotdogs in their package.  My mom and dad shared their tent of about the same size on top of a blow-up mattress.  We spent about an hour complaining about who farted and who was breathing on who before it withered down along with our consciousnesses. 

I was lost in a dream about not sleeping inches away from my brother when my dad’s voice awoke us.  “Come on guys, get up.  Water’s coming in.”

Chrissy began barking like she was under attack by a chef holding a meat cleaver in one hand and a packet of taco seasoning in the other.  Everyone, including me, shushed her until something about my dad reminded her that he was someone she had seen just about every day of her life.     

When my vision cleared, I saw he was standing ankle deep in the water, holding the boat up to the fly of the tent.  We scrambled to pick up our shoes, clothes, and sleeping bags and climbed into the boat one by one.  By the time we all got in the boat, the water had gotten about a foot into the tent. 

“Okay,” my mom said, attempting to be cheerful.  “Comfy cozy time.” 

Luke and Taylor had already crawled into the bow and fell asleep before anyone else even noticed.  It didn’t take much longer for Chrissy to find them and nestle down in their body heat.  The rest of us stared at the floor, soaking in the inevitable fate of us all somehow fitting on the floor together.  After careful configuration, sacrifice, and willpower, we ended up with my dad sitting up by the bow next to my mom while Erica had me pressed up against the stern.

“Erica,” my mom said. 

Erica replied with a groan. 

“If you turn sideways, there will be more room,” she said. 

“I am NOT facing Keith!” Erica exclaimed.  “I won’t do it!”

“Come on, Erica,” she said.  “We have to try to be as comfortable as possible.”

“Exactly,” Erica said.  She had no choice though.  If she didn’t turn towards me, curled up into a ball, hugging my knees, we would not fit.  I was doing my best not to release a huge mass of flatulence.  It was the least I could do now that we were now eight hot dogs stuffed into a pack meant for four.   

“Good night, everyone,” my mom said. 

“Mom,” I said.

“What?” she replied.

“Shut up.” 

I knew the water was flooding the tents now, but I was so tired I didn’t care and I think everyone else felt the same way.  We fell asleep, together as a family, re-united in our camping traditions once again.