Well hello again. If you are new to my writing style I beg you not to stumble to another page without reading my latest offering. I swear-I have relevant things to say.

If you’ve already acquainted with my previous works, I thank you for hanging in there with me. I thought it was about time I introduced myself to the world and tell you a little bit about myself and how I came to be here…

My father looked at my mother with a gleam in his eye…

Um… maybe I should move the timeline up a little…

Fast forward through my first kiss, my underwear falling down around my ankles in front of my entire 5th grade class, my first sexual experience…

I currently live in New York City and yes, it’s full of crime and dirty. All the press about New York City is absolutely true: if you visit you’ll wind up in a tub of ice with a kidney and wallet missing on your first night. But you’ll have a great time!

Writing is not what I do to currently pay the bills. Since I’m too intelligent to be a crack-head prostitute, I work as a web developer for a small company. So far, all their checks have cleared so I can admit to some happiness.

Some time ago, a man managed to get me knocked up so I do have an offspring. She would be terribly embarrassed if I mentioned her name, age, or any of the other facts about her but I will tell you that she’s currently a pre-teen and is a compact version of me. In turn, she gets on my nerves a lot.

I started writing because of the boyfriend I happen to mention a lot in my writings. HE IS NOT THAT BAD. I write most of my stuff with my tongue planted squarely in my cheek. Anywho… one night we were having one of our ridiculous arguments about who could be a better writer. My position was that you have to write in order to be a writer. His view was that you should think about a concept and then eventually write about it. As a native NYC denizen, I thought his view was BS and said so.

I wanted to prove that a good writer need only write. Over time, with practice and some positive feedback, a person can develop into the next Jackie Collins. I had a mission besides missionary: I was gonna write!

What should I say? And who should I say it to? My story ideas are gleaned from what I see and hear every day. I can’t write about the streets of Rome because I’ve never been. I can and do use the experience I’ve gleaned over my lifetime. I can try to write down some of the funny (I believe but I could be wrong) things I may be thinking about, or overheard.

With my web background, the internet was the perfect choice of vehicle for my missives (plus I can get ad revenue so don’t forget to click on any of the ad links on this page so I can earn $0.0000005. Thank you).

So, thanks to my father’s gleam and my boyfriend’s encouragement, I’m here, writing. Am I the next Shecky Green? Hell no.

I believe we all have something to say: a funny story, an interesting tale. I’m proud that so many (ten people and counting!) enjoy my work and I’ll try to keep you entertained as long as I have fingers, significant time to waste and an internet connection.