What I miss the most from my childhood is the feeling of awe. I remember waking up Christmas morning and going out to the family room with my sister to see what Santa had brought us. The room, with the artificial tree, seemed like it was sprinkled with gold. Back then, everything was filled with wonder from riding my bike to my first kiss. As a child, magic was real.

Now my moments of awe have been hijacked by my cynicism. I work at finding the magic where, when I was a kid, it was as simple as opening and closing the refrigerator to see if the light would stay on. I can see it in my kids faces all the time. My two year old walks around in a constant state of wonder. Everything is new to him. My four year old is amazed by at his ability to do things whether it is playing a video game or learning to read. My fifteen year old daughter shows signs of jadedness. However, even her disaffected attitude can’t control her spastic energy when she gets excited.

You give up a lot when you get older. Not that I would go back to my childhood. Once was enough, thank you. I would miss my husband and the family we created. But, if truth be told, I would trade some of my wonderful life to experience that awe again without looking for the smoke and mirrors.

So I can tell my son that he is right. It is sad and scary to grow older. But, I will do my best to help him keep his innocence and awe for as long as he can. For me, I will get older but that won’t stop me from looking for those magical shoes that will make me run faster and jump higher.