July 12, 2010, 2PM.

 ” I sensed many people surrounding me, I know behind their surgical masks they were   doctors, nurses. I had intuition this will going to be painful. Very painful. There was a huge light- very bright above me. Am I in heaven?  Am I hallucinating? My visions blur now- this is the circular spot-light inside an operating room. This is it. I think I am going to faint…”

 If you’re gonna ask me was it painful? No! It was more than that. It was very traumatic. First, you will not going to appreciate how I looked inside the Delivery Room- exposed, exploited, “violated.” Never ending hell!

 The pain I underwent was the most devastating event I had in my life- at 30’s. I never dreamt of this chapter–that no matter how we tried to put our lives in order certain events would occur , at the least expected time. Perhaps to challenge our worth. To test our faith. To give us heart-wrecking lesson.

 ”WE’RE almost done MISIS, relax. Just put your hands at your side…”

MISIS. Inside the DR all ” patients” were addressed Misis. Of course they had no time to be asking me what’s my status in life. Many times I wanted to shout, only that my lungs was dry and my throat empty. I am not married, call me Miss, please! I just got pregnant but not married!”

 You just don’t know how it added up to my agony. Calling me ” Misis” when in fact the man who caused this pregnancy is nowhere to be seen now, nor be felt. When inside me I was protesting, revolting. I shouldn’t be alone here agonizing this way, in this steel bed with my aching legs and body oozing with BLOOD!

 Where’s the culprit who made me pregnant? That damn #@$&?!** man! Got no balls now?!

 ” I felt numb, perhaps the toxic runs my entire body now. My legs up to my torso aches like it will never end. But I was conscious. I heard the medical instruments clinging inside my cervix…”

 ” Here we go now Misis, relax, don’t push too hard!”