Life is full of lessons learn from them and live life to the fullest because we are only here for a short time. Spend it loving one another.

I attended a memorial service with my husband on Wednesday, August 29, 2012.  The service was for his ex.  They were never married but they spent, I believe, nine years together.  Their relationship started in high school.  They had a son together in 1991.  Bill, my husband, and I married in 2004.

Pastor Paul asked for memories of Kris, the deceased, and my husband composed himself, got up and spoke.  He did a wonderful job and I’m very proud of him for honoring his son’s mother the way he did.  It had to be hard I’m sure.  Here he is, remarried and his son is grieving the loss of his mother.  So many emotions, I’m sure, are flooding my husband’s mind.

Afterwards, Pastor Paul told my husband and myself that we have a very strong love.  A love that can withstand, my husband getting up and feeling comfortable enough to announce that he has always cared about Kris and never stopped worrying whether or not she was doing well.  Did this hurt me, absolutely not, it proved to me that my husband is human, he does have a heart, and he is compassionate about his ex, just as I was about losing an ex of my own shortly after Bill and I got together.

The only difference is, Bill was a different man when we first got together.  When I called to tell him that my ex boyfriend had passed away all I got was, “Why are you crying?”  He couldn’t understand how I felt.  I too had a child with this ex boyfriend.  This hurt me more than he could possibly imagine.  He did not attend the viewing with me.  I had no one to support me the way I have been supportive and understanding with him during this devastating time in his and his son’s life.

I confided all of this in Pastor Paul because although I was being really supportive to my husband, I felt guilty of how I felt and a part of me wanted to talk to my husband about this, but yet I still haven’t because of what Pastor Paul said to me.  He gave me a hug and said, “Girl that’s alright because you still got it.  You went through that, yet you are still here supporting your husband.  You have got the love for others that God wants us all to have.”

So that just made me see that I am only human as well and even though I may falter every now and then I can overcome the bad in my life and make it better.  I was able to keep my mouth shut and support my husband.

Besides, my husband isn’t the only one who lost someone.  I was introduced to this woman because she was my stepson’s mother, but she quickly because a good friend.

Thanks for reading and God Bless!

Copyright © 2012 Kristie L. Claar. All rights reserved.

Liked it
  • Lynn Hollis on Aug 31, 2012

    Pastor was right, you showed exceptional love and support.

  • gwezsetyo on Aug 31, 2012

    Love this :p

  • Kai Vicky on Aug 31, 2012

    Great article.

  • gaby7 on Aug 31, 2012

    We can never run away from our past completely….those who try to do so never succeed or they simply deceive themselves into believing they have succeeded! Your hubby is a gentleman……the code of relationship he has had with ex can never be ignored because, his son is there as testimony to that relationship.

    I think you have handled this whole situation honorably and I urge you to do whatever it takes to let your step son appreciate you as his step mom!

    You too should not hold back on the things that your hubby has got to know, most especially about the child you had with your ex. This will make your present relationship stronger than ever! Thanks for this personal story Kristie!

  • jennifer eiffel01 on Aug 31, 2012


  • Kristie Claar on Aug 31, 2012

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments and compliments and support. God Bless!

  • Kristie Claar on Aug 31, 2012

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments and compliments and support. God Bless!

  • Rahmat Syam on Aug 31, 2012

    Wow, great share my friend. Thank you :)
    Please come to my article too :D

  • Martin Kloess on Aug 31, 2012

    Well written, thank you. And thank you for your support.

  • sabanawaz on Sep 1, 2012

    Thanks for sharing your great story.GBY

  • elee on Sep 1, 2012

    Well written, thank you. And thank you for your support.

  • Kristie Claar on Sep 3, 2012

    Thanks all, God bless!

  • Rosettaartist1 on Sep 7, 2012

    well written

  • Kristie Claar on Sep 8, 2012

    Thank you Rosettaartist1, God Bless!

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