Are you alone? Are you sitting down? Ok good, brace yourself; I am about to reveal something from the past, something that might just barely begin to hint about, “Why Ducks?”

There is actually another player in the scene who has gone unmentioned, unnoticed, and unrecognized so far, and any other unsomethings that you can think of. This unfamiliar and little understood character shall now be revealed today, so that you can unlock the mystery behind the ducks.

This other personality is very smart as well, far smarter than humans, and possibly smarter than ducks as well. These creatures are known for their brute force, which is their defense against getting caught. When approached, this…thing, will simply massacre the hunter or poacher or scientist or whomever, instead of trying to trick them. The humans simply don’t understand that claws and teeth can very easily tear through flesh, which makes the Lion so much smarter.

The Lion also tops the duck because of its incredible boxing skills. The duck cannot box. The duck will not win this battle. The Lion also does not speak English, so if anyone screams DUCK! The Lion will not lower its body to avoid anything moving at it at head height. The Lion does not understand what this means. The Lion wants to punch the duck.

Fortunately for the duck this is really as far as the Lion will take it. There have been no brutal massacres or mastications of ducks by Lions yet. The Lion quite possibly respects the duck, as the duck respect the Lion.

And now a short history of the Lion. The Lion has very similar political views as the duck, more specifically they are both very liberal and have strong moral beliefs that are in many ways unreasonable. This is because political powers would never be as fair or as just as the Lion and the duck would want them to be. The Lion is also a runner, much like the duck, however because of the Lions unfortunate injuries, the Lion does not get to run much. Because of these similarities the duck and the Lion get along just fine most days. The Lion actually hasn’t punched the duck in a very long time, but that hardly matters because they were only metaphoric punches to begin with.

Enough of the history, time to move on.

My Beijing branch has actually recently requested a transfer to have several Lions put into positions there. You see, the Lion has long since proven itself as a worthy holder of high responsibilities and is often regarded highly by its peers, thus most over-seeing positions at my facilities are covered by Lions.

Contrary to popular belief, I will not be continuing to talk about Lions and ducks for the rest of this journal. Enter now, to the numbers phase.

It was because as a kid, my favorite number used to be what age I was. Whenever I had a birthday, I would go through a funk starting a week or so before, and ending a week later. In this funk I would start appreciating my next age for different things. I liked the 4 because it was my first age to be able to enclose space when you drew it. Though I could hardly draw one myself at that point, I thought it was cool. You should’ve seen how excited I was when I hit 8. Esentially my favorite number was always my age. For some reason though, a couple numbers stuck with me. I like 3 rather much because, for me, it was very balanced. With three there is you, and then one more on each side. I also like one because with one there is just you. Together you these two numbers represent you, as a single body in the universe, but they also recognize that you are not alone. The numbers represent the potential that everyone carries in their own life, and when we reach this potential, we have fulfilled our life. This is 13.

Those are my wise words of advice for this week. I hope you enjoyed them and will carry them with you where ever you go.

‘Till next time, this has been a CBS special report, I am Kevin Harlan, and now back to you Greg.