So who should come first; the kids or the spouse?  I guess it really depends on the couple in question.  For me, my husband comes first.  Why?  Because eventually the kids will grow up and move out, and then it’s just us till the day we die.  If our marriage isn’t strong, if we didn’t take the time now to pay attention to each other and love each other, then we’ll end up just being roommates once the kids are gone. 

You see it all the time.  The couple spends so much time doing things because of the kids and/or for the kids, and not enough time doing things for just the two of them.  The kids can not be the only thing that holds a marriage together.  I see it as though I chose my husband, while the kids were given to me.  That may sound harsh, but it is true.  I chose to spend the rest of my life with my husband, and while I will be there for my kids for the rest of my life, they won’t be around as much as my husband will after 18 years or so. 

We still live within five miles of my parents because I want to stay close to them, but I don’t see or talk to them everyday, not like I do my husband.  Even when my husband was an over-the-road truck driver, gone for weeks at a time, I still talked to him a lot more than I talked to my parents. 

Right now, my kids need me, as they are still young.  If it comes down to a life or death situation, then yes, I would choose my kids.  That’s something we have discussed and we both agree that if it ever came down to it, the kids would definitely be saved.  They still have so much of their life to live, and while I would be sad to have to live my life without my husband, I know I could never live with myself if I let something happen to one of my children.

While me husband is a grown man and can take care of himself, he still needs me, too.  Maybe not as much as my kids need me, but he still needs me to be there for him, to listen to him, and to take care of him.  He needs me just as much as the kids need me, and I will always be there for him as long as he wants me to be.  Giving your partner just as much time, just as much attention and affection as you do your children will ensure that you will have a strong marriage, and that you will still be in love with your best friend when the kids move out.