Dear Tom,

You walked in through my door, and  into my life. Like a whirlwind it was love. The courting was fun, we made love in the sun. But, now reality’s kicked in. We’ll have to pay for our sin, (as our new daughter’s just arrived)! She mirrors you to a T, and screams constantly. My head is just fit to burst!

But whilst I have been through hell with the birth, you’ve done nothing but shirk. I hear you’ve been out on the town every night. Not for me so much fun, with a huge b*m, and tum. I have been forced to lie down, before eight. You visit me late, and eat all my grapes. You rarely answer my calls.

I hear you’ve  been given the sack (for answering back) . I really can’t handle much more. Your mother’s a witch. She won’t help us one  bit, and your dad’s always drunk as a skunk! My mother’s too ill to help with the bills, and our daughters been sick on the mat.

So I’m writing this note in the very faint hope that you will consider meeting up for a drink. My nerves are so frayed. I am so disarrayed, I’m chewing on the pen as I write. I’m sure you’ll agree to paternity when you see our little bundle of joy. But, worry ye not you don’t have to hide from the Child Support, as this is one little mistake I don’t mind.

Sue