I woke up one morning in late May and was headed out the door to my new job when life as I knew it ceased forever to exist.

I opened the door that day to Nightmare that I wondered how long it would last and how much of it was real for the longest time. I know now that all of it was real and although that nightmare has ended it has laid the ground for many more nightmares to come.

When I opened the door that day there were police FBI, Local, State and US Customs at my door.  It’s very hard to be polite to law enforcement when they are searching your house.  I didn’t know what to do really.  I offered to make them coffee which seems silly now looking back but I didn’t know what else to do.  There was one lady with them that was very nice she was with the US Customs division of the investigation.  She explained to me that they had tracked several downloads to our IP address and that all of those downloads were of Child Pornography.  I honestly didn’t know what to say to this woman because I had never seen anything like what she was describing to me so none of it made and since to me. 

Now let me flash forward to calling my then husband and explaining to him what was going on.  My reaction was confusion utter disbelief so I expected his reaction to be similar but it wasn’t. He became very angry screaming at the top of his lung wanting to know why I had let them in and threatening me if I let them touch his computer.  I told him I had to let them in they had guns and a search warrant I couldn’t easily say NO.  He hung up on me after telling me to get out of the house and he would come home and take care of it.

I went to work that day I couldn’t think of anything else to do and I figured soon enough they would realize that they were in the wrong house and leave.  Probably wouldn’t take very long maybe an hour so and everything would be fine. Then I got home at 5pm that evening and they were just packing up the last of OUR things.  They took computer, CD’s, computer pieces that weren’t even in computers, VCR tape, they took my diary and other assorted books and papers the inventory of what they removed from the house that day was over 40 pages long and so the nightmare continued.