I meet a man one year ago today.  He was kind and soft spoken.  We fell in love and I thought the world of him.  Right now today I wish I were dead.  He has become verbally abusive and I am scared of him.  His abuse comes out of the blue.  He will be thinking something and start up and accuse me of acting a certain way, or he will ask me a question just to start his act up.  I am quiet my nature and have had the worst few years of my life before I meet him.  I had moved to another state 4 years ago because my two adult sons within weeks of each other nearly died.  One hurt as a police officer in the  line of duty and my youngest son who was 27 at the time, had a massive heart attack from RX medicine for his migraines, he was on the heart transplant list for 8 months and began to improve.  (He is on SSDI, my other son is back to work  having to do so much overtime because workers comp. says they overpaid him. )

     20 months ago in the middle of this mess I had a job with the state had bought a home in that state and got laid off.  I have never been in debt, never had late bills, and I ended up having to file bankruptcy.  Now I have no money, no job, no credit.  This past May my partner and I”got Married”, everything but did not file the necessary license because he would lose his insurance.  He is 60 and when he is 65 we are supposedly going to make it legal.  Now for the bullying part-  the last few months he has done it so many times that I can barley count them all.  I am scared all the time and feel like I never know what he wants.  He will say things like this morning, “you need to find somewhere else to live, I DID love you”. Then when he feels like it he will say I love you honey.  Well to me one is a lie.  We are in the process of buying a home in another state.  Or I really should say he is and I guess I will be his guest if and when it pleases him.  I love this man but I am so tired of his bullying.  He will set me up to where I am afraid to move to go to the bathroom for fear that it will interpreted in his head as, god know what and then he will go off.