Isn’t it crazy how when we are young we grow up seeing couples, if it be our parents or our friends parents, or just older people together. We watch these movies, and hear stories about togetherness. We are brought up to want to find someone to share our lives with. It’s crazy we go through life accomplishing all that we do and in the mean time find someone to share the stories we have, or to make new stories with…memories of a good time, memories of the bad that you made it through. It’s crazy how we try so hard at first to show them how amazing it would be if maybe you could just throw out the insecurity and give them a chance to blow up your world into something amazing. A chance to prove the worth of your love, and the gratitude we would show to have theirs, even for a while, just to try, just one chance.

Chances….something we take in every aspect of life. Everything… Without them where would we be? No fucking place. Everyday you walk out of your door, your taking a chance at life. You could die that day, but fuck it, you have learned to look past that day to day conflict and put more important things in front of you. Maybe your job, your school work, your love interest…all things you also take chances with. My question to myself and I guess for all of you is why do I never get a chance? I was given one chance with one girl, and it didn’t workout. I feel like I have been cursed in a serious way with women, as if maybe I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. You constantly hear from your friends and family about how “someone will come”, “everyone has that someone”. That doesn’t seem to be true for me, I think maybe I am that exception. I have tried in the past. I will see a girl who catches my eye, because of her eyes, or maybe the glow she presents with a smile that can light you up inside, and just screams to you..”hope”. So you put yourself out there and you try, and more and more you find that these girls with all these false hopes for you are faker than most. Because the let down is so much more crucial I guess you could say. You try to hangout with them, but they keep saying it will happen, and to me and hopefully to most of you smarter people you know damn well that she has no honesty in these statements, which were meant to lead you on with more hope. Hope…feels like all I have anymore. Nobody wants to live a life alone, that’s not a life at all. So I do as I do every night, put these headphones on and get lost in the music. Think about a happier life. One where if I weren’t so miserable I think maybe I would have more motivation. Maybe someone to turn to always, to call and know that no matter what time it is or what they are doing, you will hear their comforting voice that makes you your strongest. That person that you have a good time with no matter what your doing, things memories are made of. Smiles in still life, with a glow of happiness and certainty that every things going to be alright as long as your together…Dependent on one another we are. We cannot make it alone in this world, not happily. Sure if you want to go day to day living in misery alone, thinking that all you need is your job and your success, then go for it. I’m here to tell you, it’s not worth it, and there are only certain things that surpass sadness of that kind. I’m getting a little tired of when your interested in a girl, and you think things are going…pretty okay, and then you find yourself talking to them/helping with another guy. You hate to tell them how it’s going to work, because you know your right about the situation, because either you have done it so many times, this painful help of others or because your a guy and you know unfortunately how every other guy in the world is thinking. People are so simple and easy to read it, that you hope one day there will be that girl or guy that just…blows you away. Maybe someone that you can’t figure out, someone who will surprise with everything they do without even trying to. Please understand this…It’s not that I like a lot of girls, this is more how it goes…. I like a girl, she doesn’t like me…dates another guy. Sure there is always more details, but every girl has a different scenario. The only thing that stays the same is I’m left alone. I also don’t want to be that person who complains about how he is alone. I am not complaining about being alone, I am complaining about how every girl never wants to give me a chance. What is it about me? Am I really ugly? Do I not seem interesting? Maybe it’s because I’m not successful, because it will not be the fact that I don’t try. I will try more than anyone you know to do my best. If someone would just give me a chance, that I find interest in, I mean try, really try, I would just give it my all. My first and only concern will always be how happy she was. I want to surprise her all the time in different situations, if it be with a gift, or something funny I did, or just something sweet? I have these ideas all the time, things I think of doing to someone and I just sadly don’t have someone to do them to. Seems like such a waste. Then again so does this, like I always say, what the hell am I writing this for. So some girl can feel sorry for me and give me a chance? Why the hell would I want a relationship built off of sympathy, that would be the worst. Maybe I am writing this more for everyone else. I feel like I am going to be alone regardless of what happens, so I guess this is to everyone else, just…….give them a chance, you never know what lies beneath. It could be the guy who looks at you sometimes and says hey, but could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Maybe the guy you hangout with all the time that you think could just be your friend, because you don’t want to ruin anything. Friendship strong enough cannot be ruined by anything, TAKE the chance. So where do I go from here? Do I keep trying and getting turned down and reminded that I can’t have someone to complete my life. Do I keep throwing it out there to get turned down about hanging out, going out….running out. No, getting tired. It’s just too much at some point and the harsh reality that your done and over with creeps over you like a dark haze blocking out any hope. I guess what I just want to say is, I have tried. There are many girls out there that are gorgeous, some more than others. There are lots of girls i would love a chance with because they seem so cool, and easy to get along with, like a girl making me life for a change..ha. But as much as I don’t want to try, the little hope I have will prevent me from wanting to lie down and die. Never give up, never lose hope…never give up…never lose hope.