It’s been so long since I’ve been to a party. Yesterday was my birthday and I was going to have a small party with my friends but that fell apart. But anyway, having that happen inspired me to write this article.

I know that if we had had that party it would have ended in disaster. Somebody would have had too much to drink and would have done something dumb. Like light something on fire, or start a fight, or even try to get lucky with a very unlucky subject. (There’s no cure for herpes)

So now I know you can’t have a safe party. Either have no party at all or have a bunch of idiots running amok in your house. I guess we all need to learn sometime that life is not just one big orgasmic party ground.

So on my sixteenth birthday I had some cake and watched some TV, by myself. Not the best birthday party ever, but at least I had a TV. Do you want to know what I learned from this? Never party in your own house, try not to be the drunken idiot, keep a condom in your party wallet, having a crappy party is better then no party at all, and at least you always have a TV.

Happy birthday to me. Hope you liked the article! The end.