My life is not an orange. Don’t consider my life an apple. Don’t peel it apart, then throw the pieces away; don’t try to get to my core only to take it away, then destroy the rest of me. Treat me like a Brussels sprout. Don’t eat me.

Friends are people who, when you are angry, try to comfort you. Good friends are people who warn others, and offer you chocolate as compensation. Best friends are the ones who poke you, then run away screaming “SHE’S ANGRY!”

Of course I’m afraid of bees! They are flying death monkeys!

Potato people are sheeple. Hehe. Sheeple.

Stick figures don’t have shins.

Age six; little sister is crying. Big brother says; Aww… what’s wrong? Age sixteen; little sister is crying. Big brother loads his shotgun; Alright, who did it?

*menacing glare*

Ding dong, the witch is dead! Green men say; off with your head!

Are munchkins considered midgets?

How many times is Bob going to die? And who in God’s name keeps reincarnating him?!?!

If you believe in reincarnation, and if I don’t like you, in my next life I will be an elephant, and you will be a bug. [CRUSH]

ORANGE SODA!!!!!

“Hot.” “Yeah, Hot.” “HOT” *stares* “Warm, cold, whats with the staring?!”

Shampoo. Champoo. Champoon. Champion.

Fishy fishes fishingly fish fishingly fishing fishy fishes fishily.

Look! There runs a furry mouse! Whoever catches it might make a nice fur cap. -Cinderella