Originally, from New York City, I have had the pleasure of spending my childhood summers in front of flowing fire hydrants, playing hide and go seek in alleyways, and manhunt in Forrest Park, Queens.  However, as I grew up I found the burning need to spread out beyond the city limits; finding myself in an excruciating marriage that took me to Washington State and then a death-defying escape that landed me in Miami.  Just to find myself back in “good old New York.”

A year of struggle to build up the courage to try again, I flocked to the recruiting station and soon found myself in Fort Jackson, South Carolina. I found my strength and endurance through exhaustive and exhilarating training during Basic Training, and AIT. I bared the emotional scars of fending to keep the Drill Instructors from entering into my personal feminine territory. 

A scream, punch, and report later, I learned the true slaves that exist are the ones to themselves.  The ones who refuse to do what is right and important for fear of not belonging.  Then I started to understand why the women lost their grace and came down with thunder worse than the males, it all came to that moment when they were alone, stripped and now it is time to toughen newbies as  a reward for the abysmal cycle that remains.

Now carrying distaste for immoral authority, sucked of faith in human kind, and pity of the weak-minded, I made it to Fort Hood, Texas.  Army mechanic during the day, moonlighting as a bartender in the evenings.

Those evenings are what opened me to an old feeling that was buried in shame, betrayal, and other emotions suffered by the conquered.  A small twinkle of ambition sparkled in my gut, the night I looked into his eyes, a simple Montana boy who also has had his soul dragged through the mud of despair.

By this man’s side, we conceived – and from that conception, we had to flee, from Killeen, to Tennessee, back to Killeen then to Montana.  After a brief stay in the mountains of this man’s childhood memories, we continued our travels, with baby in womb to… yet again good old dependable New York.

This man and I had our baby, but still had our troubles behind us.  With a lot of miscommunication and too much anguish, we set out on our rocky journey to make our names right with the law.  In our travels, we discovered our hate, our weaknesses, but most of all our strength, love and power to overcome.

Between our own, separate excruciating and exciting adventures we discovered each other and ourselves for what was and what can be.  That man, now my husband, found his heart in the wooden grains, glue, and sound found only in the makeup of a guitar, where he studied his new trade and love in Red Wing, MN.

By his side and constantly losing my way, I went along for the ride, only to follow him back here, to Texas.  As my graduation is just a month away and those little gleams of ambition, tenacity, and power slowly rekindle within my soul, I see a light of opportunity shining in the near distance.  Will this be the direction, the portion of my life, which can be just mine to flourish and grow?  Will this be the way to enter into my sons eyes as an accomplished wonder? Still jaded from past excursions I creep in like a burglar in a populated house of slumber; what will I find?

I guess I am just going to go forth and make my claim and strive for nothing less than the best… The next chapter awaits…