I wasn’t ready for the life I was living at the time when he first asked me if I had ever seen a girly magazine, but I was curious enough to go and look.  I walked with him into the next courtyard, and around the back of the buildings, down into the basement area, where they would store bikes and other boxes and stuff.  Tony S. guided me towards one barrel of magazines and pulled one out.  He asked me if I had ever seen a naked woman?  Here I was…11 years old and female, and I was asked if I had ever seen a naked woman?  Just think about the mentality of that kid at that time and what i must have been thinking as well.  I chuckled for a second and said, nah, where would I ever see a naked woman?  As he opened the magazine, he told me to stand in front of him and read it.  I agreed and as he pulled up my pretty white and red polka dot dress to find a sweet pair of white clean cotton panties, he nearly fell over another box.  I stood there and continued to read, feeling his hands flow around me. I could sense his excitement, but to be honest, I was completely bored.  I was ready dirty magazines while he was getting off on my pretty whites.  How drool.  I finally stood up and told him that i had to leave and get back to my house. He was startled and nearly fell again. He had his wanker hanging out, not even erected and on his face he seemed disappointed.  I explained to him that this wasn’t thrilling for me. I needed something more exciting. Tony was stunned and as I left the room, I turned once more to find him finishing up while gazing down at the magazine.  I felt terrible for him, knowing he would never be the one for me.  I was already in love, but he didn’t even know I was alive.

                                                             Growing up in New York can make you numb