I once believed in the fantasy that

One day I won’t have to hurt, I won’t have to bleed.

I won’t have to cry because one day you will just love me.

One day I won’t curl up and wish for eternal sleep, because one day you’ll just love me.

One day I won’t have to beg for love, because I’ll actually matter to you.

One day you won’t ask me not to go, because I’ll be where I want to be, in your arms.

But the reality is this

One day, I won’t care if I’m loved because I’ll have grown passed such insecurities.

One day, it won’t matter that I’m alone all the time, because I won’t need you anymore.

One day, I won’t ache that I’m breathing, because I won’t think about you anymore.

One day, I’ll matter enough to me that I won’t care I don’t matter enough to you.

One day, I won’t wonder what’s wrong with me, because you won’t matter that way anymore.

One day, I’ll think about the day ahead, instead of you.

One day, I’ll focus on myself and those here, instead of those I love so far off.

One day, I’ll move forward stronger but alone and safe, without you. 

One day….isn’t today, but the reality of one day, isn’t far off. 

Reality could change. But reality is up to you.