I am now 36 years old and four months pregnant at that. Who could have thought that I would be pregnant again? After giving birth to my second child who turned out to be a special child and experiencing hardships in rearing her, bearing another child was farthest from my mind. But don’t get me wrong, not that everything I experienced was bad. Of course, if is unfair to put it that way. I have a loving husband, a cheerful and obedient first born son and thank God, everybody is physically robust.

As I pondered on what the future holds, I told myself that maybe God has better plans for us because He allowed this child to grow inside my womb despite the threat of miscarriage. On my ninth week of pregnancy, I experienced profuse bleeding and was rushed to the hospital. I thought I would lose the baby. I felt so guilty for not taking extra care. The doctor’s diagnosis was threatened abortion, but I was treated immediately. I was truly relieved that my baby was safe.

Scared For The Baby

Given the situation of my five-year-old special child at present who can barely speak more than ten words on her own, I can’t help but be scared about the baby I am carrying now. I just hope against hope that this baby will be normal, healthy and pleasant. Every moment of the day I would pray to God to grant our petition.

I am thankful that my husband is very prayerful and hopeful that we will be given our requests. It is indeed very difficult when the one thing you would like to have cannot be attained by you alone. It takes a miracle to have it and we can’t help but pray hard for it.

It has been my nature to get what I want by exerting efforts for it. I can’t just sit and wait for my wish to come true. I work hard for the things I wish for. But this time, it is only up to God if my wish would be granted. It needs His miracle to make it happen. Fortunately, I am a believer of miracles. Even if I consider myself an independent person, I never discount the possibility of miracles. Little things that happen in unlikely circumstances are all miracles as far as I am concerned.

Worthy of Miracles

Miracles are the things that give me enough hope that I will get my wish. Yes, there may be a question of worthiness. I would ask myself: “Am I worthy of God’s miracle?” I believe it is He who can answer that. But I am pinning my hopes on the story of David in the bible, who sinned against God, but was still granted a son who turned out to be the wisest king. I am also inspired by the story of Jacob, who sinned against his sibling and his father Isaac by deceiving both of them. But he was still blessed particularly by the birth of Joseph.

These biblical characters were not given the ultimate blessings immediately. They spent years before they were given such miracles. Patience was the dominant virtue which they developed while waiting for God’s blessing. This is what my husband has been teaching me: To be patient and hopeful that we will wake up one day and witness the grace of God’s blessing present itself before us.