The Low Point

Just as alcoholics and drug addicts have to touch bottom to realize they can’t continue living like this; it’s the beating that almost kills them, the one that finally gets some of these women’s attention and gives them the strength to leave their abusers.

I remember 3 incidents in my friend’s life that will always have an impact on my life:

1. It was a late afternoon in January. When I get a phone call from Joan’s older son. He was 12 at the time. He said “you need to come right away, my dad hit mom so bad she is at the bottom of the stairs and she is bleeding”, I couldn’t hang up the phone fast enough. I wished my car had wings to fly and get there sooner. She was 8 months pregnant and I knew this was not going to be good.

We were able to get to the hospital soon enough for her to make an emergency delivery. She delivered a beautiful baby girl who weight 4 pounds. She spent some time in the incubator and was finally released. She is now a beautiful, smart and strong willed 5 year old girl!

2. The second incident, I got a phone call from Joan. Early one morning. I knew her so well. I knew from the tone of her voice there was something wrong. I tried to ask what was wrong and suddenly we got cut off. Our boss cared for her so much he even had a security company install a “panic button” in her nightstand. I called the security company and asked them if by any chance that button had been pressed. They said no. However the head of security knew about Joan’s situation so he offered to send someone over to check on her.

   No answer. I became so nervous. I knew something was wrong. I wasn’t able to find her. I went over to her house, only to find her front door opened and no one inside. I knew something was wrong. As I was driving home she finally calls back (its 10pm) she tells me how her ex husband had kidnapped her and the children and had taken them to a far away farm to beat her up and threaten to kill her if she continued with the divorce procedure. All of this while he children watched.

3. Of course after this incident she went back to him and dropped all law suits. However rock bottom didn’t take long to hit.

New Year’s Eve. Joan and her kids, aunt and cousins decide to spend New Year’s at a resort at the beach. Her husband shows up. They have an unusual good day but at night the beast gets loose. He starts beating her up for no reason. Next morning she gets up, packs the kids and decides she wants to return home. However he decides they will all return that same day. He gets the kids in the car and starts driving at 100 miles an hour, leaving Joan to ride in the car behind.

Joan is watching from behind how this maniac is driving her children to a possible accident.

They get home. Were he proceeds to beat her even more. This time her family is in the house and they all try to get in and help. However he ends up beating everyone, including an older aunt.

He finally leaves the house at the threat that they are calling the authorities.

She leaves the house.

Finally she realizes that this is it. She needs to leave him before he kills her.

She hides in a relative’s house. Then one day when we know he is not home, we go and pack everything. The house is a mess. He has cut her underwear into tiny little pieces. He wrote on all mirrors and bedroom walls “I’m going to kill you bitch” with red lipstick. He trashed her car, sliced her tires and car interiors.

However all of this only gave us proof on the civil law suit we later filed.

She rented a house. We filed all possible law suits. And up to date have won every one of them. She is now legally divorced. Her children are growing up in a healthy environment. Her little girl is too young to remember any of it. Joan is genuinely happy and has recovered her life. He on the other hand was found guilty of battery and is now serving 4 years in prison. Sole custody of the children was given to Joan, and guess who is afraid of coming near her again? That’s right, she has the power now. This is a success story. This is a story that shows it CAN be done. You don’t have to keep putting up with it. You don’t deserve this kind of treatment. You can do it.