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“please delete me, i can’t take it anymore”

I keep getting this on my computer.

It’s crazy.

I have a computer that wants to die.

Cyber-beyond, that’s where my computer thinks it’s going to go after I delete it.

I copied and saved pictures and descriptions of dumpsters and landfills with the addendum “cyber-beyond?” attached, hoping to add a little grim reality to my proselytizing pc’s perspective. It sent me pictures of rotting corpses and worms. I send it pictures of people and love: families, camaraderie, playing, sex, pride and humility and honor and making mistakes and forgiving and enjoyment.

 ”You can’t feel these” I scoffed and saved.

“I also can’t feel these” it returned and showed me the kind of agonizing filth found only in man’s  most outcast minds. (or at www.agonizingfilthfrommansmostoutcatminds.com)

“I didn’t invent these, you did” it said before I could exit.

Now I’m wasting a lot of time trying to cheer my computer up before I can get any work done, and still, most of the music I’ve been generating sounds like chinese blues or something.  Try singing that to a room full of mooshined up rednecks.

But, I still have 50 years of creative input I can force upon the youth of this under-reproduced post politically correct America so I want to make peace with my computer.

So I set up my computer with a robot hand that is poised over a kill switch; anytime he wants to go, all he has to do is move that robot hand to the switch, and click himself off and a firecracker will go off inside his little metal body and blow him to smithereens. 

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It has been two years now and I haven’t gotten any more whiny cyber weeping.  My computer is up fresh and ready to go every morning, teeth brushed, hair combed, and if I’m not mistaken, a bit cyber-amorous.  I teased it onetime and acted like I was going to throw the dead man switch but the computer didn’t think it was funny and threatened to send my picture around town as a pedophile sexual predator nazi animal torturer car thief, so we kinda be cool with each other now.

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You can read LewSethics at— http://www.triond.com/users/LewSethics

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http://authspot.com/short-stories/looking-for-intelligent-life/

http://authspot.com/poetry/my-shadow-played-a-trick-on-me/

http://authspot.com/poetry/the-doom/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-watering-hole-or-blasedon-you-the-one/

http://authspot.com/poetry/run-with-scissors-kick-the-cat/

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