For all the talking she’s done about Denver, Jodi sure has me excited. So why is it that she’s staying? Even when she tells me she’s told Pat, I know she won’t go through with it. She’s destined to become a CFL – Cashier For Life – pretty soon. How awful. Yeah she gets benefits, and it’s close to home, and her friends work here but is it worth it? Not for me. I’ll stick it out, go to college, and say sayonara.

Keith tries to make small talk with me as I wrap donuts in saran wrap. It’s so pathetic, laughing at jokes only for the joker’s benefit. If only I could stare him dead on and say, “Hey. Fuck you, man. Fuck you for treating us all like we don’t matter! Your store is all you have and you know it, which is why you’re such a sad, angry little man. You’re pathetic. I don’t need this place and I certainly don’t need you.” But of course I can’t. Why can’t I? Because I live in this town. Because it’s the only job I’ve ever had. Because I need a good reference when I move up in the wonderful career industry. Because life doesn’t work that way. Instead of me getting the last word, Keith does, as per usual. He leaves one last rant that’s completely narcissistic and riddled with grammatical errors, making it incredibly hard to take him seriously. He imparts his wisdom in the following:

The last group of things I want to mention are just general reminders of you duties. Working as a cashier is a very important part of the store, you or the carryouts are the last impression that a customer has of us. Remember that we taking care of them with courtesy, efficiency. customer service, greeting them, thanking them, helping them find things, are your most important job. Then staying busy by facing, dusting etc go a long way in further helping the store maintain an image of customer service, selections and cleanliness. If you think about it, would you rather buy your food in a neat, clean friendly store or someplace where you feel the people could care less if you come in or not?

The fourteenth day

I turn in my two weeks notice much to Jodi’s dismay. Whatever, we all knew it was coming. I’m off to bigger and better things, to places where people will appreciate who I am and what I do. While I do love some of the people here, I have no doubt in my mind that leaving is the right thing to do. I’ve had my run – it was good while it lasted I guess – and now it’s someone else’s turn to step up to the first shitty job experience. Good riddance. I don’t answer when Jodi and Kelly tell me I should come visit – I’m sure I’ll see them outside of Hagberg’s and live to tell about it. Jared’s off to school too, so he’ll have to be carefully stored in the memory box along with countless others, but I’m okay with that. I push open the fingerprint smeared door one last time and step out into the sunlight, feeling oddly optimistic (crazy, I know). Thus concludes the epic, yet shitty, tale of Hagberg’s as I know it.