I don’t remember my very first time I was speaking in front of an audience. It probably was trying to recite some nursery rhymes to my family when I was very little. But judging from the first event that I have a recollection of it must have been a traumatic experience and certainly one that prevented me from opening a public speaking handbook for a long time. 

The first time I remember was in primary school, we were doing a play to commemorate another anniversary of the end of World War II and I was meant to say a poem. 

My voice broke even before I went on stage. I hardly walked and I was shaking all the time. I think I had problems with my breath. I opened my mouth and …. there was a long silence. So long that eventually my teacher decided to proceed with the play and skip the poem.

I didn’t know it back then but later in life I realized that I was simply afraid to speak in public. On any social occasion I would be immediately out shadowed by someone else, someone who wasn’t afraid to voice his opinions and views. I certainly was. And I was losing fast.

Never having much luck in my life I started having problems with public speaking in my job. Because of some restructuring of our department suddenly one of my tasks was to interact with a large number of people and, this is the worst, selling. 

It’s fine if you’re afraid to speak in public at school. Usually you fail at one appearance and you are never selected to do more. Same with college, although passing oral exams in groups might be an issue. When it comes to work though I knew I had two choices only, give up or do something about it. 

The first thing I did to overcome fear of public speaking was to rationalize what is it that I am so afraid of. How my voice sounds? Or that I will be laugh at if I make a mistake? A realization of what it was turned out to be a turning point for me. 

Once I knew what was stopping me I knew all I need to do is practice but take it easy on that one thing that I was most afraid of. In my case, my voice. So I began to write and practice everything I had to say. If I had a big meeting that I was meant to speak to I would wrote down my speech and practice it trying to make my voice sound the way I wanted it. 

Later I learnt to control the sound of it, to a point of course. But it worked so well that most of my fears were gone. And what I learned later on is that I no longer have to modify my voice. Suddenly the way it sounds is just about perfect for me.

But I am no longer afraid to use it. And speak in public.

These days though I still revert to a public speaking handbook before every speech I have to make. It gets easier if you can refresh your memory about the technique you have learnt.