I was nothing more than a punching bag to the love of my life.
I just laid there, completely shattered, frozen in thought and action.
After the initial shock set in, I wanted to go over and scream at her and him; how could they do this to me.
We were having a baby and getting our life together.
But then the fear set in; I knew he’d get angry and bash me for having embarrassed him.
I decided I’d act as if nothing happened, and just run away the next morning.
He came home through the night and crawled in next to me and just said he had drunk too much and fell asleep.
The next morning came around quickly and with it a new set of problems.
I was bleeding and suffering severe pain in the abdomen.
I had no choice but to tell him, I was scared, as I knew I was not in good shape.
David of course, was unconcerned and said he had planned to run my neighbour, my so-called friend, to an appointment.
And when he returned, he would run me to the hospital.
I remember the minute he drove out of the driveway, I ran for dear life.
I was terrified he’d come back.
I just had to get to a phone for help, so I ran as fast as the pain would let me.
As I ran I could feel the water running down my legs.
Someone came to my aid and took me to the hospital, the moment I got there and was placed into a bed, with a gush my waters came, and there was no stopping that little baby from coming.
A few difficult hours of labour brought my baby girl into the world.
She was very tiny, but she was alive.
She was whisked off to “NICU” to be cared for.
She battled on for eight days and eventually died on the eighth night from a heart attack.
It was the hardest moment of my life.
To watch her tiny helpless little body expire in front of my eyes, and no one to share my grief with.
The only time I saw him was in the labour ward; he turned up just as the baby was taken away.
He came in and spat on me and said he had his girlfriend in the car; and to never contact him again.
I said to him that the baby was very sick.
He told me he didn’t care and to tell the real father. I felt so alone without him; but that was fine by me.
My father visited me in the hospital, I was sitting alone in the foyer and he came over and sat next to me.
I told him how scared I was that I’d lose my baby.
He grabbed my hand and said she’s tough just like her mum and she’ll fight just like her mum.
In that instance I knew no matter what happened, I would fight my way back, and that I wasn’t alone.
My life took many twists and turns after that and it took me many years to break that cycle of abuse, betrayal and hurt.
I look back now and think, if I was the woman I am now, that man would never have treated me like that.
To this day I don’t hate him, I feel anger at all I’ve lost and every year that my daughter would have been a year older, I feel bitterness.
But I’ve learned to grow from every situation and I’m a survivor of the most horrendous acts of violence, physically, sexually and emotionally.
I’ve been rock bottom, but no one has the power to take away your fight.
Although I lost everything, the one thing he could never break was my spirit.
And it’s that strength carries me through everything.
So if you have a story similar to mine, never lose your will to fight from within.
Power to you all!
Wow that must have been so terrifying,your a very strong person to have pulled through this..
Your a wonderful person..
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this as sad as it was 
luv Jo
xoxoxox
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