Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Can’t sleep.

If only you can write as fast as your brain moves. Though by now this page would be full. Stress, insomnia, anxiety, whatever it’s like a thousand little kids pulling on you. Your hands, shirt, pants, all tugging trying to strive to get you attention and to get you to pay attention to them and not the others. All of them tugging at the same time, till you scream in your head “ ok, enough dammit go to sleep.” and it works for a split second. Thoughts scatter like cockroaches in the light, but one by one they crawl their way back. So you toss over, adjust your pillow, get the blanket the way you want it and let your head settle heavily into your pillow. Two seconds of bliss, nothing but “ahhh pillow“. Then you brain is at it again, thinking about the bills, work, this person, that person, some you want to remember, some you don’t. You think about what you should of said to this person, or done that instead. You think about all the things that have and should get done tomorrow even though you won’t do some of them cause you know you’ll be tired. You look at the clock. Those dam red number on the alarm clock mocking you. You think if I fall asleep right now I’ll get 5 hours of sleep, even though you know it’s bullshit. BBAHH stop thinking. You breath in and out slowly trying to clear your head again, and then u realize you are paying attention to how you are breathing. You start to think about taking the sleep aid in the bureau next to the bed though but you know if you take them now it’ll make it even harder to get up in the morning. Look at the clock again, dam you, 30 min have gone by. Turn over in bed, and not try not to think about how if you only took the sleep aid two hours ago, you’d probably be in la la land by now. Look at the clock, another hour has gone by. “Fuck this”, you say to yourself, if your going to be awake then might as well be up. So you get up and go pee, seems like the logical thing to do. Go towards the bathroom turn on the light, “Ouch fucking bright light“, you can barely open your eyes. Your brain is wide-the-fuck-awake. You cringe as you sit down on the cold toilet seat and pee next to nothing, waste of a potty run. But you sit on the toilet even after your done, in a ever blah not awakeness as you rub your face and eyes, thinking again what the fuck I just want to go to sleep. Your grab toilet paper, wipe, flush, lazily pull up your pants. You turn on the water and put soap on your hands, and as you start to wash your hands in the cold, slowly warming water you look into the mirror. You see your tired, bed wrinkled, haggard face, man, you look like you haven’t slept. You make a face at yourself, shut off the water. You put your wet hands on your face, while you make a blaaraaghhhpppphh sound, look back at the mirror and tell yourself “ Go back to bed and go to sleep”. You dry your face and hangs shut off the light, now it’s too dark, grab a bottle of water and go to bed and start it all over again. Look at the clock again, “DAMMIT” 3 hours till you have to get up.