I have noticed that whenever I am looking for love it is nowhere to be found. On the other hand, whenever I am in a relationship or otherwise not looking, they won’t stop beating down my door.

What is up with that? Is my body advertising some message? Are my hormones saying, “Hit on me! What are you waiting for? Jump on it!”

It doesn’t help that I have this bad habit of sabotaging my relationships whenever I start to feel too much. I imagine it’s a defense mechanism. I screw things up before they start to get bad. I’m saving myself some pain. Right?

It really doesn’t help that I start feeling more for my partner about the same time others start “beating down my door.” Not at all. It just seems to make it a little easier for me to sabotage the entire relationship.

It’s not that I’m weak willed. And I’m not a cheater at all. I just tend to justify ending the relationship because of the attention I get from someone else.  I think I’m afraid of getting hurt like I was before.

I get that we have all been hurt in the past.  Sometimes that pain is really hard to move on from. I understand that we tend to carry around some emotional baggage from the past. Experts will say that it is not healthy for us to do so. We should get rid of it before moving on.  Let it all be fresh to start again.

Will someone please tell me how this works? For real, how does one go about dropping off their emotional baggage? I would really like to know.  Then maybe next time I won’t mess things up as soon as I start to feel that wall around my heart begin to crack.