I feel like I’m starting a new chapter in my life and probably it’s true.  I’ll be in  Grade 7 when school begins next week and that means Junior High.  It also means going to a new school with a lot of kids that I haven’t known before. Danny will be there of course, and most of my other friends. I’m also concerned about Noah, he has changed a lot in the past year and I rarely see him anymore. Him and Mitchell had been best friends until Mitchell’s dad got transferred to Detroit last Fall, after that he was a bit of a loner. When we got the news last Christmas that Mitchell had leukemia, Noah’s father took him to Detroit to visit his best friend and although Noah health had deteriorated, the two were happy to be together again, if only for a few days. Mitchell’s death in late March devastated Noah, his whole world fell apart and his grades dropped drastically in school. Danny and I tried to include him in everything that we did, but the old Noah that we knew was gone. When Danny or I saw him at all during the summer, it was in the company of older boys who were always getting into trouble. Once we saw Noah and an older kid smoking a cigarette behind our old school. Before leaving Mitchell threw a rock, breaking a window. Neither of the boys had seen us and both ran away laughing. I keep wishing that I could help Noah but I don’t know how to go about it. Danny says it’s his life and if it’s what he wants, we should just forget about him. I keep thinking about how I would feel if it had been Danny and I just know that he’s angry about Mitchell’s death, probably angry with everyone, especially God.

Why would a loving God allow Mitchell to die so young? That’s a question I’ve asked a hundred times in the past few months, and no one seems to have an answer. Maybe Mitchell’s family are right and there is no God. Maybe it’s all a fairy tale that someone made up long ago. Noah’s family told him that God needed Mitchell to sing in the heavenly choir, but that made Noah even more angry-if that’s possibly. He stormed out of the house saying he’s sure Mitchell would rather be here with him. He even cursed at his dad and said he doesn’t believe in God anymore  and he would never go to church again-not ever.  Since then, their relationship has been all downhill. I asked mom and dad but they said that we don’t understand these things now and we just have to accept them.  I don’t want to accept it – and I know that Noah doesn’t either, I need to understand. Danny just says we should leave it and move on, that there probably isn’t an answer anyway. Maybe he’s right, but I sure wish we could help Noah before he gets into  big trouble.