A scary story in which I scared my self while reading cause something fell off my desk while reading a scary part. it’s very promising.

On a lonely afternoon, on top of a hill in the country, was a house. A beautiful one. It had four elegant sky blue pillars and some dark blue rocking chairs on the front porch. In the front yard, there was a swing set and a beautiful oak tree. Around the house there had been freshly cut grass, a garden with some vegetables in it, and a rose bed lining the house.

The house was home to the Mattox . There was a fit father who worked hard in the pastures most of the morning and some of the afternoon, a mother who did house cleaning, cooking, gardening, and took care of her roses. Then there were three children. Two boys and one girl. There names were Jake, Ashton, and Cassie. Jake was 16, Ashton 14,and Cassie 11. Jake and Cassie were the best of friends, but Ashton, was the outcast. Nobody ever paid attention to him. They only talked to him when they called him down to dinner, but even though he was alone all day, he had talked to himself, like someone else was trapped inside him that he liked talking to, and perhaps there was someone in him, because he was a very kind and normal child until when he was seven years old.

He never would forget it. It was a hot day in June. His father was out in the pasture and his mom planting seeds in the garden. Cassie and Jake were playing on the swing set. All of a sudden Cassie and Jake had stopped laughing, and he had heard doors close. He went to his window and there had been a man in a black suit headed for the door. Ashton raced down stairs to answer the door. He waited for the man to knock and opened the door.

The Man had said “Is your mother or father here, young man?”

“Erm, moms in the back, messing with her garden” Ashton had said in a casual voice.

” ok, thank you” and the man had walked off with haste.

Ashton was a very curios child and he did what he did best, eavesdrop. So he had sprinted to the back door and glanced out the back window. The man had just walked up to his mom and he couldn’t wait. He slowly cracked open the door open and listened.

” yes sir?” his mom had said.

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Comments (6)
  • mr.dude on Jul 13, 2009

    great story

  • BradONeill on Jul 13, 2009

    I love your enthusiasm. I think this needs a little bit of work but it is a very promising start.

  • theresacall on Jul 13, 2009

    i agree with brad. it does need some work but great plotline

  • gringoperry on Jul 14, 2009

    It is a good story; but it does need some work.

  • Dr Curtis Barnett on Jul 20, 2009

    Liked it!

  • DriftingInsomnia on Jul 22, 2009

    “And you are in danger of being slapped”– lol.
    i liked the… what would you call it… “suspense” when the man was like “i can only warn you…” and such. nice job there.

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