Losing a parent is probably one of the hardest things anyone will ever go through. Right up there with losing a spouse or a child.

When my father died, I had the strange sensation that I was no longer “whole.” I felt as though a part of my very being had been ripped away.

Before Christmas, 2008, my friend Deb’s father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I asked everyone I knew to pray that he would at least make it through the holidays. He did, thankfully and was even able to attend a party where he saw his grandson sit on Santa’s knee.

George began a steady decline in health after Christmas. He suffered two strokes and bouts of low blood sugar. Deb watched her father, who just a few months early had built horse stalls in her barn, grow weaker and weaker.

I tried to be there for her as much as possible, unfortunately though, we live an hour away. We were able to get together for lunches on occasion though and we emailed. She would often joke about her dad getting St. Peter into a golf game once he got to Heaven.

On April 1st, 2009, it was over. I hadn’t heard from Deb in a few days so I called her office. Her boss let me know that George passed away. I called her house and left a message. But even as I said, “I am so sorry,” the words felt hollow. I knew of  the pain that was ripping through her, I’d felt it myself. I had to say something else, do something to help ease that pain. I asked God to help me find the right words.

My husband Fred was asked to be a pall-bearer at the funeral. He was honored to accept and even decided to wear a suit. He very rarely wears suits so I was kind of surprised. We got an even bigger surprise though when he found a golf ball in the jacket pocket. Fred does not play golf. We couldn’t figure out where this may have come from. We couldn’t even remember the last time he’d worn that jacket.

At the funeral the priest talked about George being an avid golfer. Suddenly, I knew where that golf ball had come from!

George had sent his daughter a message; “I’m okay, and I’m playing golf!” I was so glad to be able to deliver that message. I think it helped to ease the pain, if only just a bit.