I think it must be every parent’s worse nightmare, finding out that there is something ‘not right’ with your child.  It can come as a real blow to the system and it can knock you right off your perch, so to speak.  We have been through the diagnosis process twice. Both times were different and both times it evoked different emotions.

With Tyson, I knew early on (at about 6 months of age) that something wasn’t right.  Call it mother’s intuition, call it being overprotective. I was my ‘gut’ feeling that was telling me that things weren’t right.  It didn’t come as a big surprise when the pead told me that Tyson has ASD, if anything, I felt like a weight was being lifted – finally, I felt like I was being a good mum (instead of being told and made to feel that I was being over protective). But then came the questions:  Why does Tyson have ASD? Could the complications that went unnoticed during his pregnancy have played a part? What about the major complication that happened during the birth? Vaccinations, I’ve heard alot of terrible stuff, is it true? There is a strong family history of depression, could this be responsible? I think the MOST important question that I asked was “will he be able to do all the things that the other children do?”

Of course, the Pead was only more than happy to answer my questions to try and put my mind at ease.  There was lots of reassuring that the Obstetrician who oversaw the pregnancy (and ultimately responsible for all the complications that went undiagnosed during the pregnancy as well as the really big complication during the birth) wasn’t responsible, that the pregnancy/birth doesn’t have much to do with ASD, that vaccinations were fine, and that a family history of depression doesn’t lead to autism.  She had a lot to say regarding what hadn’t caused it, but not alot about what could have caused ASD.

I happily accepted these answers and went home to tell Stephen.  Poor Stephen, it hit him hard.  I think it does hit the father harder than the mother, especially when the child is a boy.  Dreams of Tyson being a football start drifted out the window only to be replaced with ………  ??  This is where it really hit Stephen. He didn’t have anything to compare with.  Poor Stephen went into denial, which is understandable.  Because of this, I tried very hard not to overwhelm him with all of the information that I was reading about in relation to autism.