Marrying a Marine wasn’t in my life plan.  I had always said I’d never even consider dating anyone in the military.  Not that I was anti-military; in fact, I am and have always been very conservative politically and have always had the greatest respect for the armed forces.  However, I couldn’t imagine a life filled with more worry and anxiety than that of a military spouse and I had no wish to put myself in that situation.  So when a friend introduced me to his new roommate, who was just a few weeks out of Marine Corps Officer Candidate School, I only flirted with him because he was so good-looking despite having a high and tight haircut, which is basically an unhappy medium between baldness and a mohawk.  I never expected that just a few weeks later I’d somehow be certain he was the man I was going to marry.  I was just out to have a little fun, but I ended up getting a whole lot more than I’d bargained for: a whole new lifestyle, courtesy of the Marine Corps.  We’ve been married for just over a year now and I like to think I’ve made the adjustment to the military lifestyle fairly smoothly, but I’ve definitely learned a few things that would be helpful for anyone just beginning this adventure.

Be informed about the reality of being a military wife and make decisions accordingly.

Have no doubt about it; once your husband or husband-to-be signs those papers, he belongs to the military.  If the military says jump, he’ll say how high, how fast, when and from what altitude.  Every aspect of your husband’s life will be controlled by the military.  Once he gets his orders, that’s it: he’s not going on that two-week cruise you’ve booked and paid for and were supposed to leave for in the morning.  Unless he has taken leave – and gotten it officially approved, not just submitted – know that none of your plans that include him are guaranteed to happen, be it a dinner date or your best friend’s wedding.

Nine months after I met my husband, we were engaged.  It was at this point I made my first good decision as a future military spouse.  I insisted that my fiance put off his commissioning until the day before our wedding, because I knew that once he signed those papers he was – and consequently I would also be – owned by the military.  I had a terrible fear of him being ordered to report somewhere and having to reschedule our wedding at the last minute, or him getting called away while we were on our honeymoon.  As it happened, it worked out perfectly.  He was commissioned right before our rehearsal, we had a beautiful wedding and a blissful two-week honeymoon.