Various Forms of Pain

There are various forms of hurting.  There is the physical type and there is the emotional type.  Both are horrible in themselves but to some extent, the physical aspect can be controlled, cured and made better enough to heal.  In the long run this will fade away into nothing as if it never happened.  On the other hand, there is the emotional pain.  This is the real killer, the soul destroyer. This is the kind of pain that never goes away and continues to come back and haunt you when you least expect it at any moment of the day or night, whatever it is you might be doing and wherever it might be. 

The emotional pain may be the counterpart of love.  This type of pain could be generated when a love is lost for any reason whatsoever and it is excruciatingly hurtful.  You just want to stop living. You just want to cease to exist. You just want to die, to end it all, for only death is a welcome relief, a welcome option when the threshold of emotional pain is finally reached.  A hurdle to all this is that you can’t touch your pain, you can’t touch the sore area to try and make it better for it is your very soul which is crying out and your heart that bleeds profoundly.  No amount of pills or alcohol can make it better.  It is said that time heals an open wound.  Perhaps that is true, but the scars will still be there and no make-up can ever hide them for they are embedded deep under the skin and not visible to the naked eye…they are only felt by the heart of the unfortunate individual who has to try and go forward in life as best as possible, knowing very well that there is no future left in the first place to look forward to.

Life can be hard and it makes you reflect on the past.  It is true that one should be a better person after any experience sustained, but I have found that after living a bad experience, it can’t really be better.  How can it be better after having paradise in your arms and that paradise is lost?  How can life be better if the only thing in life that kept you going through the rough and the smooth is no longer there…no longer within arm’s reach?  The end of the line is a tough place to be for it has no beginning and no end.  It’s an emotional catastrophe, a disaster, a fatal blow, a calamity and in my case, Armageddon.  The end of life as I know it… birds will never sing for me any more…the rays of the sun will never be able to keep me warm any more.  the stars at night will never shine brightly for me any more….nothing is left… absolutely nothing but a black cloud which slowly hovers above like vultures awaiting their prey to die so they can devour it.  I never thought that the end of the line would ever reach me.