I’m sitting here in the lunchroom at my local community college. I’m playing a game on my laptop and typing this.

I’m sitting here thinking: What is my life?

A friend is sitting here, a black, special boy who thinks he is gay. I don’t think he is actually gay, I think he just had gay tendencies that caused people to call him gay, and so he started believing it.

My girlfriend is at home, working on homework, focused on becoming a police officer. I have been with her for over a year.

But I sit here, mesmerized by another girl in the lunchroom. I know nothing about this girl, yet I find her extremely attractive. I barely know what her voice sounds like, but I can’t keep my eyes off her.

So most people would say: break up with your girlfriend and go out with this girl if you like her so much. I can’t. I’m always afraid if I lose my current girlfriend, that I’ll never find a girl I can connect with as well as I can with her.

I also haven’t decided on a major. I don’t know what I want to do in life. No idea at all.

So I’m sitting here and the underlying question that rises to the top of my mind is…what is my life?