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Just one large pain,I struggle so much with my words.
Reading for me is total concentration,   I need to read some thing many times over and over so  I get it right.
as what I see is not what you see,due to spelling,  the letters for me are all askew
 some examples a C, to me could be a  C,U or a N.

G, Y H, P,  can be all a  G    well they all look the bloody same to me.

so the sarga continues.   Spelling is a major mission, spell checker comes in very handy,.
 But when I plonk a word in my writings thinking and looking fine
to me,     it is a word and spelt right,     spell checker doesn’t pick it up 
so I see and think it is correct,    but in actual fact the word is wrong
not the right one for the job.

This makes it very damn hard in reading,   many times I pick things up wrong when I rush read
so I take my time,   and get a head ache for my efforts.

Upon returning to my submitted approved  material for some reason I then see the error clearly,
and then I feel like a idiot.
As all can see my mistakes,    including me  .

Numbers are  just a joke,    I have gotten to the stage that I just laugh at me.
 My dyslexia wasn’t picked up on until high school.
So in my younger years was always pushed to the back of the class
which made it doubly hard as the black-board
becomes very difficult to see due to ultra consintration  on my part.

Also I was labelled as “the naughty uncooperative child”
teachers seemed to always pick me to read some thing from a book
I couldn’t do it,    so the other kids would make fun of me till the point I would retaliate

  then I became the bully, YES I beat  up other kids,   bad me.

In turn I become the protector of others that were picked on, I became popular, which made my disabilities minor.

On top of all that I was a bad stutterer ,  not being able to talk at all,
saying “Hi how are you”,    would take me ten minutes
with air caught in my throat and a distorted face.
I went to speech therapy,    no help at all.

I stuttered from the day I was born,     so it wasn’t a development from being frustrated or nrevous.

my father told me every time you think your going to stutter STAMP your foot

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 so when I did try to speak yes id be their stamping my foot,
so people thought i was a loony for sure.

So to deal with that I just stopped talking,
or I would sing my words as stutters don’t stutter when they sing.

Now this is crazy but true,   like 15/20 years ago my parents were visiting me,    mum
asked dad to come out side with her,     odd I thought so I went to the bathroom
to hear what was said.   
She said,

“Did you notice that Donna is talking,clearly with a very slight stammer”
I smiled so.
Yes out of the blue I just started talking,      you couldn’t shut me up.

And now I am trying to write, I have so much to say and write about,
stored inside like for ever
out it comes, I may not get it right,but I love me for trying..

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