Okay, so email doesn’t work.  Being aggressive doesn’t work.  Being fat also doesn’t work!  Sometimes, I look at myself and think, “Is there really anything wrong with not getting married?  Not having kids?  Not being in a relationship?”  Apparently, my family thinks so.  I, on the other hand, didn’t think it was that big of a deal. 

However, I am constantly harrassed by questions like, “Who will take care of you when you’re old?” “How are you ever going to buy a house?”  “You’re getting old!  Don’t you think you should start your family already?”

Well damn.  I really didn’t think it was such a big deal until all these questions started surfacing and honestly, I really did not have an answer.  Who WILL take care of me when I get older?  Am I EVER going to make enough money to buy a house even in the recessed buyer’s market of today?  I have a ton of debt I need to pay off.  Am I ever going to accomplish that on my own?

Maybe I need a sugar daddy.  How do people find those?  I used to have a roommate who told me about a friend she had who would always have guys (who were NOT her boyfriend, mind you) buying things for her, taking her on vacations, paying her RENT(!), basically just being her own personal pleasure monitor.  How do you do that?  She must have been stunningly beautiful but my friend said, “Actually, she was just average.” 

Hmmph.  Just average.  Maybe I need to reassess my attitude towards this whole dating approach.  Well, you know what?  I need to go on a diet.  Oh, no, sorry, not go on a diet.  I need to “change my lifestyle.”  There is nothing in the world you could tell me about dieting that I haven’t heard before.  I have been dieting since my pre-teen years and believe me, I have heard it all.  My mentality is that once I lose weight, I will be able to get all the guys I want. 

What do you think?  Is that possible?  I wouldn’t say I’m drop dead gorgeous. I wouldn’t even say I’m pretty.  Maybe pretty ugly, in fact.  However, I think if I lost some weight, my confidence level may go up and I may find some nerve to actually flirt back with someone. 

The other day, I was at the pharmacy.  I had a cold and was trying to buy some flu medicine.  I went there, in my fat pants, my t-shirt, and my oversized coat, a red nose, and a non-matching purse.  Yes, quite flattering, I was.  I saw some orange colored cough medicine and immediately, the color reminded me of the delicious cold medicine I had taken as a child.  It tasted like an orange syrup and I wondered if this would taste the same.  The flavor was not printed on the label so I went up to the cashier and said,

“Do you know what this tastes like?”  Well, the very handsome pharmacist said,
“It tastes like nasty.  Well, at least when I taste it, it does.”  He was cute!  
“Oh.  I was hoping it would taste like the Orange Triaminic medicine that’s for kids.” 
“Naw, sorry.  But you could just take it like a shot.”
“Oh.  I guess that’s why the cup is shaped like that. Thanks.” He rang me up, handed me the medicine, and he had a big smile on his face.  Not the kind of smile any average cashier would have but the kind that looked intriguing. Hmmm…unfortunately, due to my low self-esteem and poor clothing choices that day, I was not in the mood to flirt.

Note to self: always ALWAYS dress nice.  You never know where you’ll meet a potential.