I am realizing more and more, to be an excellent writer you must not be afraid to express everything in your heart. You must truly “talk” to your audience as if you were actually “talking” to them face to face. People need to feel like your words are genuine and they need to feel connected to them.

The more courageous and willing I become to just say whatever is in my thoughts, I find that not only does my writing take on a new depth, but it also becomes a truly healing experience for me. To me, writing is as essential to my life as drinking water is. When I am able to sit and release all the thoughts that I need and want to share, I feel cleansed, I feel energized, and I feel a deep growth that stirs inside my soul.

I have said this to the loved ones in my life when the occasion arose that, “If all else fell away from my life, if I had my writing, I would need nothing else.”

It is amazing what happens to you when you are abandoned as an infant and have then had to struggle much of your life without a family. It changes you. It teaches you how to be self-sufficient, not ask for much or anything from anybody, and how to appear like you are just like everyone else who has a loving family and tons of supportive friends. It teaches you how to never be rejected again.

However, after many stressful, even terrifying events, I have been propelled to become more open. I think I was literally dying inside by being too afraid to share my life with anyone else. After all, when your own “blood” does not want you, it makes you wonder if anyone will. Now, as I continue to open up more, it is not only getting easier, it is doing wonders for the healing that my heart still needs to go through.

People often wonder how long will that healing process take? And I always try to give them a scenario that maybe they can best relate or compare it to. I say to them, if a loved one passed away in your life, maybe the first few months you will cry often; then maybe the next year or two gradually less and less. Then, eventually, over time you might find yourself crying when you hear a song that reminds you of the loved one or an event that does the same. It might happen quite unexpectedly and make you look like you are crying for no reason.

Now, imagine a lifetime of loss. I don’t think that it makes me a victim. I think it makes me human. I am not upset all the time, but at certain moments it becomes very difficult. For example, it is very common for people to ask another person about the holidays. For me, it becomes a difficult question for it stirs up more emotions that most people think such a question would warrant. You get the picture.

Anyhow, they say as a writer, it is also good to write what you know. Right now, what I know is that writing about my story is what feels best to me right now. I need this avenue to express myself. It is truly “saving” my life for you, my readers, become the family I have always wanted. The family who listened to what was important to me, what worries me, and what my dreams are with unconditional love and caring non-judgment. It is for this gift you are bestowing upon me that I will forever be grateful too.

Best wishes to all.