I never felt like this in my lifetime, the feeling of pain, of anger, of emptiness, of loneliness, of sadness and to sum it all of fear. I experienced so much abandonment to whom I hope to dedicate my love, my whole being and the things that I can offer…But life is never kin to me when things like these occurred. I always felt that life is so cruel to me. Never did I experience to be loved by someone whom I cared for very deeply….

At first glance you were just a typical person but I’ve seen good aspects within you I did not give much attention to you then because you were often far away from my sight and the feeling I felt for you is not strong. And now as we get closer with each other, I see the traits in you that I never before noticed. As the pendulum of the clock continues to turn back and forth and time passes by , you become part of every minutes of my thoughts. The, I’ve realized that I should take it easy and composed myself, because I know that letting it flow in the ocean of anticipations I will be drowned and never I will be able to turn back. But the feeling is now so strong that I forgot to suppress it.

Love is like a thief they say, it never knocks on your door it suddenly happens. In one point I believe that it’s true, but loving a person without having any response is the most bitter thing that life can give. Loving someone even without return is better because it makes you happy. How can you become happy, when you see him loving someone else? How can you be happy when every minute of him seeing with someone else makes you want to break down and die? I am too defensive, you may say, but I only want to fight for my right to the things I believe in. even so behind a fighter’s mask is a face of a thousand sorrows.

I am a great pretender.

How can I forget you? Your sweetness and sense of humor. Can I still be able to withdraw from my mind the jokes you cracked with me whenever we’re together? How can I forget the thoughtful little things you’ve done for me, the appreciations you showed to me? But that was all you can do, no more no less…

… I don’t want to expect anything from you, that is why I should bid goodbye for my own sake. I should give my ego a little or even more of a chance to recover from the dilemma I’m into. And from then on, I Can face you again with me carrying a sense of self worth and pride. I should forget my feelings for you. Forgetting it means closing my door to the possibilities that will come my way when it comes in dealing with you. Maybe if I do it, I can renew my whole being. I can pick up the mess and pieces. From this day, I will re-organize my thoughts without you being there anymore…saying goodbye is the hardest part of the game but getting over you is the most difficult to be done. Farewell to my old self…and welcome to my new beginning…