By being married, that means I would be under the patriarchal rule. I must change my name and carry the generations of the patriarch. In time, I would be forgotten but the patriarch’s name would forever flourish on earth.

I don’t remember the date of our wedding because that is the time I am accidentally integrated in a strange family with different culture through a conduit that is you. That means I have to conform and adhere to the norms of the being “in” the family. But I never did.

On that day of September we both cut our chances to explore the world. We may not want it that way but sadly our decisions were overruled because we had to follow the norms of the society. Otherwise both of us would be ostracized. Do you think it was really love that made us agree? For me it was confusion. Love is a relative term, abstract, just like power. Now, I agree with Foucalt. We are like Victorians who discovered that sexuality is a means of power and control over sex. Our sexuality was used against us, through the institution of marriage.  Again it is just but one of the oppressions of patriarchy.

I have to resist the power of patriarchy by not changing my name. You co-opted with me. That is the start of our arduous journey towards the creation of our own kind of family. And I think the abstract idea of love started to sprout. It is a love which is nurtured by mutual respect and resistance to the society. And in the end, we both smell victory.

            My love for you is not measured by the number of times I say “I love you” or remembering dates. You are my comrade, my friend and lover, the one who understands me best, the one who gave me the next generation of non-conformists. The one who makes me understand that love is not chocolates and roses but exchanging of ideas, spiteful words and resistance. Our love is different because I never live in your shadow or you behind me. Our love is a journey to once again discover ourselves.

            Maybe next year, you don’t have to remind me. See you soon.

                                                                                                Yours in struggle,