You put me on pause?!?

I was not made in China.  I am not a toy.  I am not a VHS. 

I was not created solely for the purposes of filling your every sexual desire.

Don’t expect me to be in the same spot when you want to pick me back up again, because I won’t be there.  I don’t need you, or your childish games.  How stupid did you really think I was?  Did you really think that I would just let it go and take it all without a word?

I have been speechless long enough. 

Now I will be heard. 

The silence will be broken

with a resounding “FUCK YOU!!!”

Fuck your head games, your endless list of expectations, and your incessant degrading remarks.  Fuck your ideal girl, because I’m not her, and fuck the way you make me feel so miserable in my own skin. 

Fuck your rules and criteria.  I am not your pet, nor am I your daughter.  I do not belong to you.  I belong to no man.  I am my own being.  How dare you presume to tell me where I can and cannot go, with whom I may socialize, and how I must look at all times.

Boyfriends make requests, not edicts.

I apologize if I led you on.  That was not my intention, I assure you.  I only thought that if I remained silent long enough, you might change.  But you never did.  And you never will.  You don’t care about anything but what feels good at the moment.  You have never been known to consider the consequences of your actions.

Here are the consequences:  You just lost me.  You fucked me over one too many times.  You tied my hands with one too many knots.  Your hand wrapped around my neck with its vice-like grip just one time more than it ever should have.

Did you think I forgot about that?

That was the beginning of the end.

That was the very moment that I realized what you were capable of, and what I don’t want to live with again.  That single action sealed your fate. 

You just lost the single greatest thing that you ever had.

And eventually you’ll realize what you had, and you’ll look me up.  I’ll be more beautiful than you ever could have imagined and you’ll wonder why you never thought of all of this before you did the things you did. 

And you know I’m capable of looking the part, heartbreakingly beautiful.  You’ll want me so bad, and then I lean in close and whisper in your ear the very thing that you so frequently reminded me of.

“No Second Chances”

I’ll only give you one opportunity to break my heart.  You did a very good job of it.  Congradulations.  But that was your one and only chance.  I hope it was worth it.

Besos