Dear Courtney,

I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 15 years, I have 2 children, a 13 yr. old girl an a 15 yr. old boy. Their father just left me for a 21 yr. waitress that works at the resteraunt that we used to go to as a family. I have no money, no job and no skills to get a job. What should I do?

Dear Desperate,

 The first thing you need to do is get a big knife and go Lorenna Bobbit on his ass. Then make your way down to the resteraunt and bitch slap that ho,  then get your ass a good lawyer an sue him for evey dime he has.

Dear Courtney,

 My kids are teenagers and I have no control over them. Can you help?

Dear at a loss,

 If you don’t have control by now, you might as well stick your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye.

WEll thats all for today, readers, I’ll be back tomorrow with some advice for you sorry asses out there.