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Actually, this is not what I want. I swear. I prefer to stay here with Amy than I go to Afghanistan as a soldier.

Amy, a blonde girl likes any other American’s girl. But for me, she is the special one. She is the only one who really understands me and cares for everything about me. That’s why, I promise to be faithful person for her.

We have been one year living together in one tiny apartment. Even the life is not really easy for us, but I never hear she complains about our life. She just smiles to me. Hug me from the backside and whisper in my ear that she loves me.

But life is not a simple thing. Money is always become a big problem. It’s going hard when I am fired from my work. It was embarrassing me. I have tried to find out another job, but it’s not such as an easy thing for the people who are only graduated from Senior High School.

Amy is not taking that as a big problem. She knows that job is getting hard in United State. Furthermore, she has her own job and she got paid from her job. “My wage is enough for our life honey” She said.

But I am a man. I have my own ego, a sense of honour and high prestige of my life. And those are killing me as a human. That’s the reason why I decide to be a soldier nevertheless I know it’s a scary job and it may send me to cemetery.

***

Kabul, 31 December 2009

As the day before, it was a hard day in Kabul. Along day I have to patrol in some areas. Keeping my eyes watch the situation with my gun on my hand and alerting of any sudden attack. Above all, the sun is burning me here. Really hot. I am like a chicken here

Two months here show me the hell. People dying and we kill each other as a human. Sometime I curse my life when I shoot someone, but I have to do that thing. If not, they want to shoot me back.