Commentary.

Dear John:

      Why won’t you let your soul be at peace and be honest about your life?  There are only so many incidents that your faithful followers and fans will continue support you for, and this latest bout of nonsense is really making people question your unfounded love for Oprah.  If ever there was the World’s Greatest Faghag, even by Jon Waters’ standards, it would be the all powerful Oprah.  Nate Berkus and Suze Ormond have had very prosperous careers under Oprah’s shelter, and things haven’t been all that bad for you either.  However, in some ways, we all deal with sins of the father.  Then again, like they say, “Karma is a bitch!”

     We have watched you from the time you portrayed “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.”  As Vinny Barbarino, you rocked so many worlds with your metrosexual, flamboyant, bubble-headed flair.  Yet, every time we saw you on any screen, we saw that bubble surrounding and somewhat protecting you.  Hollywood sure does have a vested interest in you.  Although your role as Danny in “Grease” made you the least threatening actor in tinseltown, the character you portrayed in “Hairspray” as Tracy Turnblad’s mother made you most approachable.  You made that character.  You were that character.  You did for that role what Queen Latifah did as the lesbian in her film, “Set It Off.”  Outstanding work!

     Where will you go when the last accuser comes forward?  Can’t you once and for all prove that the accusations against you are false?  Or do you just not want to?  Maybe you should have your reps call Tom Cruise and find out how he’s dodged tall tale after tall tale for all these years.  Anyway, the fortune you have amassed could and should support you and your family for a few lifetimes.  Even though I haven’t witnessed you in any Shakespearean roles, I am sure you’re as diverse as Neil Patrick Harris is.  See, now there’s one human being who continues to serve his fellow man:  Broadway, big screen, basketball games.  He even believably kisses women on his television show, “How I Met Your Mother.”

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