These letters are never sent….but every time communicated whenever we meet

these words are never spoken …but all ways read by our silent eyes…

these are not love letters…but unadultered letters to my eternal lover…

I got your letter today. I am not  feeling good , have  mild fever. I didn’t sleep whole last night due to pain in my entire body , even skipped taking classes in college. I did send a formal application to the principal about my condition. Had a cup of black tea since morning and now started writing to you. I felt an in-suppressible urge to frame a poem for you….later dropped that idea. You know Akash, now a days a strange sense of elation encircles me every time I start writing. I experience like a mass which tries to shed all her weight to defy gravity but the other moment suddenly pulls towards the center of Earth with tremendous intensity. Gets bombarded with it’s crust ….breaks into pieces…and each piece again tries to defeat gravity. Is it my irrepressible love for you or my surmounting confidence. One more interesting thing I would love to share, you know why people ‘’ fall in love’’ like we ‘’ fall sick’’ ? because love is considered to be an illness where you only could fall…  you can’t rise. I read these lines in one of the monthly journals I subscribed for a year. But in my case I have been rising beyond this horizon, this universe, this cosmos , this galaxy….from the day beginning I fall in love with you. I am not me neither you….not even both….I don’t love you …actually I live you…I breath you… I spend you …I earn you…do you think I have fallen in your love or I have been rising in your love…

 It’s one o’clock  ….of course A.M  …..both of my colleagues are in deep sleep…I am writing to you. In you last letter you requested me to be more open in my speech. Did I succeed to conceal some layers  of my earnest emotions from you? In that case I would consider myself as a great beloved. Let you desolate all those explicable deposits to find me…disclose the mystery of falling in love…right through in my blood flow, my veins, in my arteries, my spine, cells and plasma…let you caress the force of love tries to defeat gravitational pull and smashed into thousands of pieces. Honestly I am being all ways amused to keep you baffled with my half uttered words.  Your ever enthusiastic eyes would give a blank look… your ever flattering lips go more quiet… your ever brilliant face would become more radiant…you would try to conquer your impassive feeling to only become more expressive…you would get more close to my body to feel the distance…those are the things I could die for…to repeat…

Now  I would write a poem for you…no..not today. In my next letter will write a long poem for you…now my eyes are getting closed effected by sedatives. My fever has only worsened in last 24 hours. I must go for a blood test tomorrow. I have to go to the local Gov. hospital as no private clinics are available in this tribal area. My pen and pain both stop me from writing more. With lots of love and tons of smooches…yours ….pakhi.

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  • qncai on Jul 29, 2012

    Thank share it

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