Dear President Obama,

    I am in a position to develop special visions of the future for your administration.

    My unique qualifications are based on a recent visit to the Noworolski Coffee House in Krakow, Poland. That’s where Comrade Lenin plotted the Bolshevik Revolution while he was exiled from Czarist Russia. He dispatched instructions using illegal couriers including young Stalin himself. I have absorbed many wealth redistribution vibes of that era that still linger there.

   My visions are free to you but I do expect to receive a small percentage of the various stimulus packages that you are promoting.

   I hope to hear from you before it is too late.

Very truly yours

Bohdan Olgierd Szuprowicz