Dear President Obama,

I have never particularly been interested in politics and am still not, but I have a problem you might be able to help me with.  I have noticed that you recently have been in the habit of giving things to people who don’t have things?  So right now I don’t have a toothbrush…I pissed on it.  Well, actually I pissed in the container holding all of my shower stuff, but the idea of intimately cleaning my mouth with something I pissed on is just gross.  And actually I’m not all that sure it was just piss, I guess it could have been puke too, but really watery.  Or for that matter just really disgusting diarrhea?  But that’s besides the point, it’s not like I could go, “Oh…well at least it’s just piss and not shit.”  Anyways, I could just really use a new tooth brush, preferably electric, and red if you have those.  It would really help you sell your health plan.  It would help with my mouth health and people could be like, “Oh hey! It really can work.”  And if I may be so bold, I also, apparently, need a urinal installed in my room, probably on both desks.  I’m sure you know how it gets.

                                I didn’t vote for you,

                                                             Cody Ronston