Mr. and Mrs. Stick E Gum

1516 Bubbliest Road

USA, 15510

Dear Gum Family:

  I am aware that you mistreat my kind of sugary sweetness also known as chewing gum. We have done nothing to harm you. We give you pleasure and help you concentrate.  I am mostly here to say, that you should not stick your gum just anywhere. We can easily be found in the nearest mechanics, and once we get in it’s hard to get us out.

We can be found stuck on every desk over 3 years old, and we are rarely ever scraped off. We damage thousands of machines each year, like automatic doors or public computers. One thing I forgot to mention this can affect your machines so it is best just to throw us away. We can also be stuck on your papers. Let us say you were in your nice warm office. You leave to go to the bathroom. Just after you leave some hooligan sneaks in. He thinks it would be all right to attach some previously chewed gum on your papers. The mischievous demon then runs out of the room. You return to find pink wads on your papers. You scurry over to remove the gum before it hardens, but you end up tearing your papers in the effort. We do not want to be used to hurt people.   

 Another really bad thing is to stick us on random places. I believe that it is disgusting. Who wants to be scraping our wet sticky bodies from the bottom of a desk? The plain thought of it to me is disturbing. Did you even know that gum carries germs and other deadly viruses?  For example, what if you put your hand under a desk and suddenly you feel something wet. You quickly withdraw your hand but by then it is too late. Your hand is already stuck and the germs have transferred to your hand, and next day you find yourself coming down with a cold.

It is easy to throw us away. You can throw us in the trash. Please remember if you place us in your small household trashcan, then it is best to place us in a small piece of paper first. This helps us from being stuck to the can itself. There are also trash cans on the street so if you have some gum put it in the bin instead of dropping it on the floor this will help gummy shoes.

Well that is all I wanted to tell you today. Remember gum is good, but can be used in a negative way. You should treat gum carefully because it may cause trouble. If you remember this and apply these rules to your life, many things will change such as hygiene and health. Even though gum is being used for nasty purposes, with your help we may be able to change that.

Sincerely,

Wriggly Gum the III

(Sekou Nicholson)