Laundry Quarters

Don’t need laundry quarters,

Don’t need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

I gots washing machine!

As I was doin’ laundry

Early one Monday morn,

I got a surprise

Sure as you are born!

The water went in,

The water came out,

There I stood in the swirling flood

Ankle deep in suds and mud.

I need laundry quarters,

I need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

No more washing machine!

I packed up my laundry wet and dry

Methought to the Laundromat I would hie;

Unpacked my laudry,

Had it on the floor,

When I looked at the coin changer

Standing by the door.

Spoken: Yep, you got it.

Big sign: Out of Order.

I need laundry quarters,

I need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

No more washing machine!

I quick-stepped over to the store next door

I said, “Laundry quarters, please, I need more.”

The store manager gave me

The quirked eyebrow

“We don’t make laundry change-

No way, Nohow!”

I need laundry quarters,

I need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

No more washing machine!

He said:

“If you go right there down the road apiece,

There’s a car wash that might meet your needs.”

So I packed up my laundry

And drove pretty fast

To that little car wash-Second door, next to last.

I need laundry quarters,

I need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

No more washing machine!

When I got there, I gave a little moan

Oh, Yeah, I really should have known.

The sign said, “old bills only

Ones, fives or ten’s.

What was in my pocket?

A shiny, new twenty!

I need laundry quarters,

I need laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

No more washing machine!

Drove slowly back to the little store

Bought a snack, and turned around once more…

Sixteen in bills

Would they work?

Or was it one more machine being a jerk?

Spoken:

Fed in a five dollar bill-

Nuh-uh. Spit it out.

Fed in a one dollar bill.

Nuh-uh. Spit it out.

All I got left is a ten….

Hold your breath…

Feed it in….

(Sign says wait for SECOND delivery of coins for a ten….ULP!)

Wait…Wait…Wait…

COINS!

Wait…Wait…Wait…

COINS!

I got laundry quarters,

I got laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

Hey there, washing machine!

Drove right back to the Laundromat, ya know,

Unloaded the clothes, got ém ready to go…

Buck fifty a load!!!!

Uh-oh…Math time…

Three loads of laundry times $1.50

Comes out to …. $4.50.

For the dryer…

Seventy-five cents…or maybe more…

Two dollars to dry….Whew!

I’ve even got extra for the jeans and towels

I had laundry quarters,

I had laundry quarters,

Swishy, swishy, swishy,

Swishy, swishy, swishy;

CLEAN CLOTHES!