Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.

I only copied this speech off the internet this morning, so I hope it is a good one

A good speech, they say, should be like a mini-skirt, short enough to be interesting,  ——–and long enough to cover the essentials.

Sadly I am not a very practiced speaker – anyone with 3 women in the house will know that trying a get any words out is virtually impossible.

On behalf of my wife Teresa and I, I would like to welcome you all and thank you for coming to this very special occasion with us to celebrate the marriage of our eldest daughter Sarah to Gareth.We have all travelled a very long way to be here, but I think it was an excellent choice to come to Cyprus, and the weather isn’t bad, is it?

Teresa and I are very proud of Sarah and pleased to see her looking so beautiful and happy today – but it is tinged with a little sadness.
Those who know me, being generous does not come naturally. So having to give her away was rather difficult!!!!!!!
Marriage is something to be worked on.The road can be rocky at times. I am proud to say that Teresa and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary next year. In those years, we have so many memories, some of them good!!!
It is traditional now for me to tell you something about Sarah.
She has really grown up quickly— it doesn”t seem long ago that Sarah was running around the garden with no knickers on – eating mud . I”m glad to say – that she”’’s – stopped eating mud.
You are the daughter every parent dreams of having, beautiful, Intelligent and Hard Working.
You came into this world on September the 14th 1984……I remember shortly after you where born the midwife said to me..”She looks just like you Mr Crawley”.
Then she realised her mistake, and turned her the right way up !!!!
Sarah is a lovely girl and deserves a good husband.Gareth…….You are very lucky that she’’s married you, before she could find one !!!
During the time we have known Gareth we have come to realise how special he is to Sarah. Even if he is a Tottenham fan!!!
At this point I would like to formally welcome Gareth into the family, even though you have been part of it for a good while now. Again without sounding too soppy Gareth you are a great lad who clearly loves Sarah and obviously makes her very happy.
I think you have been with Sarah long enough now to know what you are letting yourself in for by joining our family, So to be honest mate I haven’t got any sympathy for you. Seriously though Gareth we are glad that you are part of our family and I am proud to have you as a son-in-law.
Sticking with tradition it would be usual for me to leave Sarah and Gareth with some words of advice as they enter into this next stage of their lives together. However I think you know each other well enough to know how to stay on each others good side. So all I will say is this.
Sarah- If you want something from Gareth just ask for it. Don’t forget he’s a man and hints don’t work.
Gareth – Always remember what a wise man once said, a man who gives in when he is wrong is a wise man. Whilst a man who gives in when he is right is married.

My final duty and very great privilege is to propose a toast to our daughter and new son-in law.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me as I wish Sarah and Gareth all the happiness in the world.

The Bride and Groom!!!!!!!!!