In Part 1 of Boredom Hits Americans, 7 guys (code) named Zaphod, Mat4ney, Tom, Tim, JJ, iFondle, and Private win the lottery and buy Area 51 Military Equipment. They get in a Ninja fight and almost lose against the one ninja, but they all make it out alive. But then, because of a wrong button Tim pushed, a Nuke was launched from Area 51 and completely eliminated a city in the far distance. Immediately after the launch, Area 51 was able to trace the signal back to the exact transmitter which launched the nuke in the first place, and the equipment took a DNA sample and sent it back to Area 51. They also have records of who Tim is with, so they’re all an danger of going to jail for a lifetime… unless they come up with a plan.

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Back at the “Base” as they call it now (it’s really just Zaphod’s house, very excellent place to hide, on the outskirts of the city in plain sight), Zaphod comes up with a potentially dangerous plan that could either get them all dead or get them supreme freedom.

“Okay,” Zaphod begins. “As you all know, there’s no safe way out of this. If we surrender, we get a lifetime jail sentence, and if we fail, we’ll all die. If we succeed, we’ll be the most powerful group in the U. S., but we’ll have to kill people to do that.”

“So basically,” asked Tim, “by pretending to be in the military, we’re forming our own military power, essentially rebelling against the United States of America for unprotens enzelous reasons?”

Everyone was stunned that he, of all people, came up with such an intelligent thing to say.

“Yeah, pretty much,” said Zaphod. “Now, in order to survive, we have to kill anything that even attempts to harm us in any way whatsoever, because if we merely resist, they could unleash brutal force and kill us.”

“Does that include cops, muggers, and mass murderers?” asked Mat4ney.

“Yes, but don’t kill a cop unless he acts aggressively towards us,” replied Zaphod.

“Okay,” continued Zaphod, “if we’re going to pull this off, we may need some extra vocabulary that nobody else understands.”

“What’s that going to do for us?” asked JJ.

Zaphod paused. He finally said, “You know, I’m not entirely sure, but we should make it nonetheless.”